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I have recently witnessed first hand, the pressuring of
transmen by transmen and others to follow the cookie cutter type style of medical and surgical treatment to
conform their bodies to that closest to a biological male and this disturbs me.
I think the stress and trauma of being forced to live an inaccurate gender role for a period of time kinda robs us of
the natural ability to think, interact and live as a male without experiencing a great deal of insecurity and anxiety. As
a result of this I think we tend to lack healthy ideas and expectations of where exactly we as individuals truly
fit in on the scale of masculinity.
I know that there have been times when circumstances
allowed me to easily be sucked into a way of thinking that made me feel that transition was an all
or nothing type of deal, only to realize that wasn't the case at all.
I had to become comfortable and confident with myself in
a way that was more sincere then I had ever been able to before and it was then and only then that I
could fully believe that I was already a man. A burden was lifted and I came to realize that
having a penis and lacking the genetic female bits would make make me no more of a man then I already was.
That for me was when a true life of freedom began. I took a stance and vowed to never again try and shape my
mind or body into something simply because society demands a set criteria be met.
I have had many people laugh in my face, taunt and judge me for having these beliefs and opinions but at nearly
7 yrs into HRT, non-op and living the life of a male without any difficulty fitting in with the rest of the males in
the world undetected; it's pretty clear that I got the last laugh isn't it?
I guess the message I am trying to get across is this. Each one
of us are very different. We all have different needs, goals and expectations to match our own unique situation.
While a whole lot of us have the ability and desire to do all that can be done surgically, there are many of us who aren't
willing or able to go that far.
At the end of each day I have only 2 people to answer to; myself and God. I owed it
to myself and my God to do no more then I absolutely had to do to reveal the man that I had always been and no less
then what was nescessary to be happy and confident walking amongst other men in the world.
Each of you owe it to yourself to be who you are, without pressuring or forcing yourselves
to try and meet or exceed any one unspoken criteria set forth by a society that is so hung
up on inaccurate stereotypes.
Hasn't life been hard enough? Haven't we each been forced to jump through enough hoops just to be able to be the men
we have been all along?
You owe society nothing but you owe your true self; that little boy inside you that begs to be freed from the
prison he's been trapped in his whole life; That is who you owe. Each of you are worth more then that. You don't
have to prove anything to anyone. Just be yourself and you will be doing yourself and the rest of the world a huge favor.
If that means following the traditional course of treatment for transmen then by all means do the best you can to go
all the way with it, but please don't put more pressure on yourselves then already exists by feeling any less then a
man should you happen to choose not to undergo surgical intervention, or because you're unable to for medical or financial
reasons.
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